The 5’8”, 120-pound Sean Goldman smiles as he shows the Yale Actual Weekly News his tinder profile on the Chi Psi porch. He explains that his “abs are fire” and that he’s “proud of the work he puts in for his abs”. Upon further investigation, YAWN can say with confidence that Sean’s eight ribs are more pronounced than his abs. When asked about his ideal first date, Sean gazed blankly back at the YAWN correspondent. “I didn’t ever think about getting that far.”