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“Oh god - I hope he doesn’t show up. We’re going to do a cover of ‘Mr. Brightside’ and hopefully get some buzz for our show in the Hopper Cabaret. The guy has an actual artist’s Spotify page and I don’t even have premium. We’d look like fucking amateurs! I don’t even know how to play this guitar I’m holding,” explains a nervous Joe Tomlinson (’22). “It would be like a middle school basketball team playing against Lebron.”