“You have no idea how hard it was for me in high school. I couldn’t go to the Hamptons for after-prom because my mom said I ‘had to attend my aunt’s funeral’ even though Aunt Sarah was faking it for tax reasons”, whines Charlie Kemp (’20). “My ACT tutor came twice a week. I needed a private admissions counselor because my school’s college services sucked. Don’t try to comfort me. You couldn’t imagine what I’ve been through.”